Three people ago, slave owners made boats out of trees, and used the power of the wind to drift across the ocean. We used to be monkeys, and we found mushrooms, and now we’re different. You’re like, “Is he right?” Yeah! The Fear Factor guy just hit you with a fucking math quiz! Three people ago! Listen to me, you’re not going to get this from teachers. I did it by fire! That’s the only way I could see what I was writing! You lazy fucks! You guys have phones in your pockets and spaceships! ‘But the wisdom of the scroll shall not be adjusted.’ What the fuck does that even mean? Who told you that, bro?” We always like to say, “The long, great history of the United States.” Listen, that’s not real. Because if you could go back in time and grab Thomas Jefferson and bring him to 2018… his first question would be… “You guys didn’t write any new shit? When are we going to realize we shouldn’t have a fucking president? It’s a ridiculous idea to have a popularity contest to see who controls everything. Seems like every day you turn on the news, more and more crazy shit. No rules, grow your nails out, wear a diaper. I’ll be like, “Let’s make this happen, bro.” Donald Trump said that if he fought Joe Biden, Joe Biden would go down fast and hard. You pay attention to that shit? It’s a couple weeks ago on Twitter. You got a president that’s threatening to fight an ex-vice president. It’s a tense world we’re living in today. Goddamn it! Good to see happy people… having a good time. Oh! What the fuck, Boston? Goddamn! Thank you.
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